Battle of Athens

Michael over at No Silence Here reminds us that tomorrow is the 60th anniverserary of the Battle of Athens. My grandfather, Paul J. Walker, was mayor of Athens at the time and was "asked" to resign by my great uncle James "Piggy" Willson. Many of those wounds still haunt that community and its members. If you get a minute, run down to the square and hear what the "Old Timer" Chuck Redfern remebers from his WLAR radio broadcast of the day's events.

Unbelievable!

DC Talk's song "What if I Stumble" begins with the following statement -

The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, then walk out the door, and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.

If the reports about Mel Gibson turn out to be true, it will be one more in a long list of examples of how we who profess Jesus name fail to live by what he has taught. In Mel's case he will also have forever given his critics the amunition they need to dismiss The Passion of the Christ. Wormwood got a bonus for this one!

Editor's Apology

Please forgive my nephew Parker's previous two posts and his unauthorized use of Steven Wright's material. Parker claims there is little copy right education invetro. However, he has been let off this time with a warning, and if every caught lifting good jokes again, will be forced to use only Carrot Top references for one year.

Parker Journal - Day 2

Day 2 - Why does everyone talk to me like I'm a complete idiot? O brother, check out the dude with the ears! The little one apparently having a heart attack or really bad gas is my sister.

I'm glad I've got a Nanny and Granddaddy. I hear those things come in handy. Apparently Granddaddy's get out of control, cause Nanny had to have that stick whenever she was around him.

Parker Journal - Day 1

Day 1 - Still Tired After the move. Hey, who is this hot chick holding me? I hope she digs small, fat, bald guys!

Petey the Watts Bar Wonder Terrier

Quent and Petey
Originally uploaded by LaneWillson.

Far from home, Petey the Watts Bar Wonder Terrier seeks solace where he can find it. Even if it means bunking with a crazed, smelly, soccer madman Cheiftoe.

In his home land, the Australian Jack Russell Terrier might be munching on wombats (Do they have wombats down under?), or snacking on a baby roo, but in the good ole US of A, Petey has a steady diet of licking microwave dinner remnants and the occasional ice cream lid. Is this a great country or what?

Petey was discovered by the Peterson clan of greater Roane County wandering the banks of Watts Bar Lake. Petey faced extradition, until a deal was reached with American authorities that allowed him to serve a limited house arrest in West Knoxville. Petey has agreed to guard the premises from squirrels in return for a reduced sentence and regular walks around the neighborhood.

Parker Willson Weimar!

Sister Laura just had a little boy. Acutally, there was nothing little about him - the kid weighed in at over 9lbs! My Nimrod suggestion was totally ignored. There was a late push to get her to name it after her brothers, but somehow Lanepaulfank Weimar just didn't sing. So she and Brad chose instead to name the kid after former actor, and Daniel Boone impersonator Fess Parker. From this day forth the kid will be known as Parker Willson Weimar. Mr. Parker left acting to start a winery. Thus the Willson name.

Congratulations Brad and Laura!

What's in a name?

Laura
Originally uploaded by LaneWillson.

Sister Laura will be having her 3rd hoodlum Wednesday morning and she and Brad still have not come up with a name. Speaking for myself, Elbert Lane Willson, IV., one's name can make life interesting to say the least. When asked about being a 4th, I simply tell people that my family is either really lazy or really unimaginative.

We know that little hoodlum Weimar will be a boy, but Laura wants to see him before naming him. Here are some suggestions.

If the delivery is an unusually difficult and painful one, the tyke can be reminded of this daily by naming him Mortimer, Alfonso (spell it with a ph and Z for extra uniqueness), Stymie, Quasimodo (This is what Hannah called Quent prior to his birth), or Aberforth.

You could go with a cute name. My children call their grandmother Rosemary - Rosemommy. Laura's oldest son Hunter referred to himself for quite some time as Huntoe.

I am a man of faith, and as such prefer Biblical names. Therefore, Laura, dear sister, I look forward to welcoming little Nimrod Weimar into the family sometime Wednesday.

CG Knows No Danger

CG On the sceen
Originally uploaded by LaneWillson.

Some reporters may shy away from dangerous assignments, but to Clara Grace, danger is just a four letter word. Seen here reporting for TNN (Tate's News Network), this young reporter braved, fire, 90 degree heat, and a questionable script to bring a breaking story to the public. Word has it she's up for the Peabody, Pulitzer, Emmy, and Woofie Awards. (Woofies are for outstanding reporting of stories involving fake dogs.) When you need to know, CG will surely show!

43rd Time's a Charm!

Chieftoe finally got his drivers license. I'm praying for us all. This time we got to the DMV with all the required documents, forms, and animal sacrifices, and this time the boy injured no DMV employees. The result - The Great State of Tennessee is the proud beneficiary of another teenage driver!

Good Job! Little Buddy!

You never know exactly when prayers will be answered or how God will respond, but His answers never cease to amaze me. My little brother Frank, four years my junior, had what some would call a challenging childhood. At one point when we were kids, I think it was right after Frank gave Mom's Weeping Willow Cherry tree a "Haircut", I became very concerned that Frank would be this way the rest of his life. And so I went to God in prayer and with all the earnestness that my tweleve years had procurred, I begged God to not let my little brother end up like Gilligan.

Through the years he continued to have his challenging moments - Charged with drag racing mom's 1980 Ford Escort, and getting caught at Carson Newman by Dr. Turner using Rev. Tom Barton as a source on a paper are but two examples of the many. Rev. Barton is actually Mr. Barton and a Ford dealer not a minister. This weekend he picked up his second Emmy, and every Thanksgiving he brings home his W-2 to mock his two older brothers. But the point is, my prayer was answered and my brother is not Gilligan, but more a combination of Groucho Marx, Ebward R Murrow, Jerry Springer, Dane Cook, and Karl the Caddy Shack greens keeper. Good job, little buddy!

Who raised this kid?

I got to spend some time with my daughter Hannah this afternoon. She will be headed to Carson Newman in a few weeks, so every moment is bonus. We got some ice cream, dropped off some recycling and just sort of "Chilled" (She hates it when I talk in quotes.) We stopped by Borders, her favorite store, and I came across a bargin rack where each book was $7.99. I gave her a $10 and told her to knock herself out. What does the kid choose? Brittney's latest unauthorized bio? The Dean Koontz book of the week? The South Park Veal Cookbook? NO! The kid gets The Complete Works of Shakespeare. I can now die in peace.

Testing Complete

I have recently undergone testing and it has been determined that I'm actually an 85 year old spinster woman with hemorrhoids and a bad back trapped in the body of an incredibly handsome, witty, and exceptionally brilliant 43 year old man with a bad back. This explains all the negativity, whining, and sour expressions posted on this blog and other feeble attempts at self expression.

I have not posted anything in quite some time even on my other site while awaiting the results of the above mentioned tests. During the time I changed the way I gather information about the world. I try to stay away from all things political. Uncle Sam and I have an agreement dating back to 1992 that I won't vote anyway, so why let it effect my attitude. I try to only hang out with positive bloggers. Barry and Michael have been long time friends and former church mates. Katie is a former acquantence with whom I have become reacquainted via her blog. All three of these spend the majority of their efforts telling us what gives them joy and makes their lives worth living. Finally, I simply try to look for the good stuff. I hope to be something of a cross between Norman Vincent Peale and Bill Murray hooked on Jesus. (So I got that goin' for me.)

We'll see how it goes. As for now - YOU KIDS GET THE HELL OUT OF MY YARD!!

Sorry, I still have a few old lady moments...and hot flashes.