Al-Qaeda today placed ace terrorist Abu Musab al-Zarqawi on the 21 day Disabled List. Though no formal statement has been issued, this confirms at least the temporary loss of one of the terrorist organizations top producers. A source close to Al-Qaeda trainers who spoke on the condition of anonymity said, “It looks pretty bad. He could be facing Tommy John surgery which would put him out for at least a year.”
Al-Qaeda now struggles to fill Zarqawi’s spot in the lineup. “We are searching the minors looking for talent to fill in for Zarqawi.” Said Al-Qaeda’s Osama Bin Laden. The skipper went on to add that the organization is looking at a group of Syrian puppy rappers. “They don’t have the experience with explosives that we usually like, but they’re quick and have a lot of heart. No matter who you get, they’re just not going to be Zarqawi.”
Before any decision is made on surgery, Zarqawi will most probably have a trail run at a terrorist mission to see how he holds up. “We’ll probably let him bomb a couple of short buses or maybe a play ground to see if he’s back in shape. If all goes well, he’ll be back in the game killing innocent civilians.”
Zarqawi is credited with hundreds of kills and only one error. In 2002 Zarqawi mistakenly blew up Osama’s 13th wife, Umm Mu ammad. It was revealed after her explosion that she had previously been scheduled for stoning so Al-Qaeda management took no action on the foul.
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1 comment:
I hear he may be under suspicion of steroids, too...
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