Light of the World

In our dark times (and aren't times always considered dark) we sometimes forget that the Light of the World continues to shine bright. Examples abound. Keep shining the Light.

Zarqawi Placed on 21 Day DL

Al-Qaeda today placed ace terrorist Abu Musab al-Zarqawi on the 21 day Disabled List. Though no formal statement has been issued, this confirms at least the temporary loss of one of the terrorist organizations top producers. A source close to Al-Qaeda trainers who spoke on the condition of anonymity said, “It looks pretty bad. He could be facing Tommy John surgery which would put him out for at least a year.”

Al-Qaeda now struggles to fill Zarqawi’s spot in the lineup. “We are searching the minors looking for talent to fill in for Zarqawi.” Said Al-Qaeda’s Osama Bin Laden. The skipper went on to add that the organization is looking at a group of Syrian puppy rappers. “They don’t have the experience with explosives that we usually like, but they’re quick and have a lot of heart. No matter who you get, they’re just not going to be Zarqawi.”

Before any decision is made on surgery, Zarqawi will most probably have a trail run at a terrorist mission to see how he holds up. “We’ll probably let him bomb a couple of short buses or maybe a play ground to see if he’s back in shape. If all goes well, he’ll be back in the game killing innocent civilians.”

Zarqawi is credited with hundreds of kills and only one error. In 2002 Zarqawi mistakenly blew up Osama’s 13th wife, Umm Mu ammad. It was revealed after her explosion that she had previously been scheduled for stoning so Al-Qaeda management took no action on the foul.

Proof republicans aren't as smart as democrats

Of the four Tennessee Senators arrested this morning three were democrats and one was a republican. Sen. John Ford took around $55,000 for his influence. Sen. Ward Cruthfield and Sen. Kathryn Bowers each were bought for a little over $12,000, but Republican Sen. Chris Newton managed to get just $4,500 out of the deal. Numbers don't lie. Republicans for sale may be harder to find, but you can buy them for 10 cents on the $1.

The New Era of Bipartisanship

Four members of the Tennessee senate, three democrats and a republican, have taken bipartisanship to a new level. They were taken from the senate floor today in handcuffs by the FBI. In addition to sharing the back of a nondescript government crown vic, the four were also cosponsors of some type of computer recycling bill. Whether or not that has anything to do with their arrest remains to be seen. The Memphis US Attorney's Office will be holding a press conference at 12EST to let us know. Let's see McCain and the gang of 14 top that!

Bridge over troubled water

Attorneys have for ages been trying to put their clients in the best light possible when appearing in court. The more heinous the crime, the more respectable the defendant tries to appear. Now Phil Spector has used his wall of sound mindset to take courtroom appearances to a new level. Spector has recently appeared in court impersonating Art Garfunkel. After all, who could be more harmless than Art Garfunkel?

I want my MTV - I mean my talk radio

Many of the local (Knioxville, TN) radio stations have conspired to confuse their semi-literate listeners. (Or at least confuse me.) Dave Foulk has the breakdown of who is where. The best part of the deal is we now have a new station dedicated to sports talk The Sports Animal.

DeJavu all over again

I went home for lunch today and on the way home all the radio stations were interrupted to say that the White House and the Capitol had been evacuated. By the time I got home the all clear had been given. Of course, within five minutes of the all clear Senator Frank Lautenburg (D NJ) was already on TV criticizing the administration for its handling of the event.

Then in a moment that would give Yogi Berra the willies, I turned on West Wing on Bravo and the story line there was the possibility of the White House being evacuated.

I myself was evacuated to a secure location where I took a nap.

Down but not out...

The blog will be going through a metamorphosis over the next few days so blogging may be scarce. Making more room for more masses of everything.

Blog Nashville

Thanks to Bill Hobbs and all the folks who put on and participated in Blog Nashville this past weekend. One of the things that I found so enjoyable was having folks with so much experience and success like Glenn Reynolds, Bill Hobbs, etc in the same room with folks who could barely spell blog like me. Thanks to everyone for being so willing to share.

This just in...

Dang, I'm Old! My seventeen year old daughter Hannah is going to her first prom tonight. She is such a wonderful young lady, and I hope she has a great time.

Pretty Man, Pretty Room

Coming to you from the beautiful Vince Gill Room at beautiful Belmont University. Vince Gill is a pretty man with a pretty voice and needless to say has a pretty wife. We are enjoying using his pretty room a great deal. Thanks Vince. I wish they would stop playing the muzak version of "Amy" though. Pure Prarie League lives among bloggers.

Blog Vagus

I'm in Nashvagus at Blog Nashville today. More at the end of the day. Maybe...

Do the monkey...

Mickey's monkey that is. There are many things I'm looking forward to in attending the Blog Nashville conference this weekend. One of the many is getting to listen to Mother's Finest on the trip over from Knoxville.

I will also get to see my sister Laura and her family, not to mention learning a great deal about blogging from some of the pioneers.

The new phonebooks are here!!

There are many honors a man can receive in his life time; the Nobel Prize, a Pulitzer, an Oscar, or (unless you are a Tennessee Volunteer) even a Heisman trophy. But in a moment reminiscent of Navin R. Johnson’s life story The Jerk, I feel there is no greater honor than that which I received yesterday by being recognized as a member of the Rocky Top Brigade. With a silent tear slowly winding down my face, and the Pride of the Southland Band in my heart I will face Mecca (Neyland Stadium) and say a prayer of thanks.

Pirate's Code

Yesterday, the United Methodist Church, of which I am a member, decided to reinstate Rev. Beth Stroud. Rev. Stroud had been found guilty on December 2nd by the Eastern Pennsylvania Annual (regional) Conference of violating church law, which forbids the ordination and appointment of "self-avowed practicing homosexuals." Apparently, the Council of Bishops believes the Book of Discipline to be similar to the Pirate’s Code.

"And thirdly, the code is more what you'd call "guidelines" than actual rules.”
Capt. Barbossa - Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

Radio Insanity

The radio station where I usually hear Dave Matthews is now the station where I hear Rush Limbaugh. I thought that all that was left on my dial was the station that played ZZ Top and the station that played Brittney. I love ZZ Top, but man does not live on the "Little ole Band from Texas" alone.

Finally, after a great deal of prayer, soul and dial searching, I found the old Dave Matthews station's new home.

Long live rock!!